Today I saw grandma in my dream. My Nani. Interestingly, that was the last part of my dream and after that I instantly woke up. The dream went like this.
I am with family, all in the kitchen having some interesting discussion when I suddenly hear a voice calling me with my nick name. I look at the door (the door is open) and get the feeling that it is Nani. So brimming with excitement, I utter, "Nani?" and there she is, standing at the door, her face beaming like sunshine, wearing a grey sari with yellow and black mixed border, looking graceful as ever. She has her arms held out to me. I rush to her, hug her and feel her warm embrace. Then I bend down to touch her feet. And that is when I realise (in my dream) that my Nani died 4 years ago (which is true in real life). So, I look up at her with questioning eyes, "Nani? You ...". She just smiles and says "Chiranjeev" and then adds, "Beta, I have to rush to ...". And then she leaves. With that, my eyes open instantly, and I find myself lying on my bed, sleeping into the afternoon of the day (slept at like 5 in the morning).
I miss Nani. And I wish I had been able to see her the day she died and offer the last respects. She was 75, but she was more active and full of life than all of us pulled together. I was in office and they took her body away because it was getting late and I could not make it on time. I often get that feeling of loss of not having seen her the last time. I think that feeling has remained with me and I dont know if that is the reason I see her in my dreams. Or does she really come in my dreams, knowingly, to comfort me? I know, it sounds silly and irrational, but I would still like to believe that.
She was perectly fine till the morning she had the heart attack which took her away. And she was fully conscious till the last few seconds. All the while she was walking along in the hospital (she did not need a stretcher) mentioning small details about what to do with her body after she dies despite us comforting her she would be fine. But she kept insisting. She kind of knew that she was going to going away. It is said that people of noble birth get a sense that they are going to die before death knocks on their door. I think she was one of them.
I do remember that just a few days before her death, I had gone to meet her at my Mama's place. And we had chatted to glory. I had shown her the photographs of me from our rafting trip. And then while leaving, she had said, "I really liked that you came, I am very happy you came". Those were her last words to me. Sometimes, I just feel they probably had a meaning. It is like something knew, I was not going to see her again and those words came out of her mouth. She was so wonderful. And she had this amazing relationship with everyone. Home wasn't home without her.
Just last weekend we had Pooja at our place (in India) praying for Nani and Nanaji during the Shraadhs. I was remembering her. According to the calendar the Shraadhs end tonight of Amavasya (IST, which is today afternoon US time) and then the Navratris begin. And that was also the exact timing of my dream. I know, you would call me irrational if I say there was something special about this dream and I would agree in principle. But emotionally speaking, it was so wonderful to see her, that I would rather believe she came to visit me. And who knows, maybe she did.
Thanks for visiting, grandma. We love you and miss you. We are sure by now you would have had some great noble birth in some pious land, where you are spreading your radiance, just like you did when you were with us. We will all always remember you, wish you and pray for you from our hearts.
From all of us who've been blessed by your presence
("Nani" = maternal grandmother, "Mama" = maternal uncle, in Hindi)
I am with family, all in the kitchen having some interesting discussion when I suddenly hear a voice calling me with my nick name. I look at the door (the door is open) and get the feeling that it is Nani. So brimming with excitement, I utter, "Nani?" and there she is, standing at the door, her face beaming like sunshine, wearing a grey sari with yellow and black mixed border, looking graceful as ever. She has her arms held out to me. I rush to her, hug her and feel her warm embrace. Then I bend down to touch her feet. And that is when I realise (in my dream) that my Nani died 4 years ago (which is true in real life). So, I look up at her with questioning eyes, "Nani? You ...". She just smiles and says "Chiranjeev" and then adds, "Beta, I have to rush to ...". And then she leaves. With that, my eyes open instantly, and I find myself lying on my bed, sleeping into the afternoon of the day (slept at like 5 in the morning).
I miss Nani. And I wish I had been able to see her the day she died and offer the last respects. She was 75, but she was more active and full of life than all of us pulled together. I was in office and they took her body away because it was getting late and I could not make it on time. I often get that feeling of loss of not having seen her the last time. I think that feeling has remained with me and I dont know if that is the reason I see her in my dreams. Or does she really come in my dreams, knowingly, to comfort me? I know, it sounds silly and irrational, but I would still like to believe that.
She was perectly fine till the morning she had the heart attack which took her away. And she was fully conscious till the last few seconds. All the while she was walking along in the hospital (she did not need a stretcher) mentioning small details about what to do with her body after she dies despite us comforting her she would be fine. But she kept insisting. She kind of knew that she was going to going away. It is said that people of noble birth get a sense that they are going to die before death knocks on their door. I think she was one of them.
I do remember that just a few days before her death, I had gone to meet her at my Mama's place. And we had chatted to glory. I had shown her the photographs of me from our rafting trip. And then while leaving, she had said, "I really liked that you came, I am very happy you came". Those were her last words to me. Sometimes, I just feel they probably had a meaning. It is like something knew, I was not going to see her again and those words came out of her mouth. She was so wonderful. And she had this amazing relationship with everyone. Home wasn't home without her.
Just last weekend we had Pooja at our place (in India) praying for Nani and Nanaji during the Shraadhs. I was remembering her. According to the calendar the Shraadhs end tonight of Amavasya (IST, which is today afternoon US time) and then the Navratris begin. And that was also the exact timing of my dream. I know, you would call me irrational if I say there was something special about this dream and I would agree in principle. But emotionally speaking, it was so wonderful to see her, that I would rather believe she came to visit me. And who knows, maybe she did.
Thanks for visiting, grandma. We love you and miss you. We are sure by now you would have had some great noble birth in some pious land, where you are spreading your radiance, just like you did when you were with us. We will all always remember you, wish you and pray for you from our hearts.
From all of us who've been blessed by your presence
("Nani" = maternal grandmother, "Mama" = maternal uncle, in Hindi)
