Realising that nothing good is going to happen unless I change my ways drastically, I make a time table for myself on Thursday night. Unless I stick to it, I head for doom, I repeat in my mind a number of times. Also, make a couple of desperate prayers to God, who knows he might see some sincerity "of intention" and suddenly open doors.
So, I am supposed to get up at 4:00 am in the morning. Get up at 5:00. Not bad, I think. And then first thing I do is look up the time table (how sincere). Ok, 15 minutes of any crap and then meditate for an hour, it says. Meditation is part of my plan to discipline the wavering mind and increase focus. Well, so meditation it is, I think at 5:15 am and sit till 6:10am in Dhyaan. Alright now, study time according to time table. But then my focussed mind thinks, I can just browse the net for a couple'a minutes, you know. I mean come'on, its not like I have an exam tomorrow. So, I submit to it. Incidently, some fellow bloggers of mine ;-) have some posts ready as food for my mind, and there I go enjoying my early morn reading blog posts. What pleasure ... But again, now it is 7:15 am and I have to study my mind reminds. No excuses any more. So I religiously open my document and start reading. "Yesss! I am doing it", is the happy thought. And just when I get deep into it, my friend throws a toffee, "Want to go for a short walk?". It is 7:30 am ... Walk? No way, I have to study. Or do I? The weather is so beautiful outside. A short 10 minutes walk could n't do much harm? It would perhaps only sharpen the mind. And then, how many times in the last couple of months have I had a morning walk... its worth it. So, there we go for the walk.
After coming back, I suddenly remember that I am hungry and as well have some breakfast and then sit. Otherwise how would I focus? It is already 3 hours since I woke up and my stomach deserves some dose, I think. So, off I go making paranthas for myself (cereal or eggs could have done the work for a sincere student). And after breakfast, anyways having a bath is not a bad idea...tick tick tick... 9:00 am. Alright, "Now I am studying!", I say aloud so that the environment tunes in to my intentions and I get back to my document!
9:30 am ... there come folks from office who want to spray for insects etc. So, we move out all stuff so that they can spray at the corners. I am one enthu person so I take out everything out of my closet, friend's closet etc and everything is strewn around except the corners and boundaries of the house. Their's is a 2 minute job and they leave soon. After that I cannot see the house in all the chaos, so I have to clean up. During clean up (like always) I want to organise the stuff. So, I reorganise my drawers and shelves etc. This is also important, I am also a wife. What about wife's responsibility!@#!@#!?? Ahem...
11:30 am... I have to wash some bedsheets, towels etc that have shown themselves during the clean up operation and its been pending for long. So, there I trod along with my coins and detergent and basket. 11:45 am ... Ok, I sit down to do some work .. 12:30 pm, friend reminds me , we need to go for groceries and stuff. We are completely out of it. So, I get up (one part of my mind really likes being distracted, in fact it loves it!) and change and there we go.
Outside, we have lunch and then do the groceries ... come back ... its 4:15 pm. Then I just sit with all high concentration and serious and angry-with-myself face, no more kidding with yourself, just get back to work, I say to myself. 4:30 and the friend drops another bombshell ... "Rang De Basanti dekhni hai?" My heart drops a beat ... its a movie I have been waiting for almost a year ... maybe it has the inspiration I am lacking in my life ;-) ;-) ... And there I am checking online at Galaxy cinemas for the showtimes ... It is at 6:15pm. So 6:15 pm it is and we are going. Which means we have to leave around 5:45pm, which means I have only like less than an hour ... nothing constructive can be done in an hour, so anyways why not blog and make it an interesting day.
According to plan, I am supposed to sleep at 7:30pm, now I will at 10:00pm .. all for "Rang de basanti".
